
The Great Book of Highland
Covering the years ……………………………………………….1963 –
CHAPTER I
1. And there were, in the
days of the evil and sinful King Teuscher of Pokyhigh, many righteous
and goodly persons, and they did become dissatisfied with their ruler
and with their surroundings, and loathsome of the follies and
pestilences’ which did prevail in the lands of Pokyhigh.
2. And there rose from
their midst a great and righteous leader. And he was called by his
people BOWSER THE GOOD. And he did speak out against the evil Teuscher
and did say.
3. Lo, let us leave this
iniquity and flee into the mountains and there set up a new nation.
4. And the righteous did
rejoice greatly in his words and did band together and did depart,
cleansing their feet of filth as they left.
5. And the Good Bowser
did lead his people through the wilderness and into the hills, and past
a place of great fences and evil wickedness, and that place was called
by all as Hawkins.
6. And Good Bowser did
lead his people on the black highway and up the hill, and they went no
faster than 25 miles per hour.
7. And finally good
Bowser brought his people to the top of the mountain, above the filth of
the valley. And he did stand and did proclaim this place to be hallowed
above all in the valley. And the Great Smiling one, which is called
Governor Smiley and good Harriman did also proclaim the place of the
righteous to be above the filth of the valley.
8. Happy were the days of
the great and righteous and prosperous people who lived on the hill
under the Good Bowser.
9. And the filth in the valley did flourish and
multiply and there was much liquor and all manner of sinning in the
valley.
10. But the righteous on
the hill would have none of this, for they were good and true and pure.
11. And the righteous on
the hill did pick a Ram for their mascot and protector. And the
righteous people of the Good Bowser did live happily.
CHAPTER II
1. In the valley of the
wicked and sinful there were many evil plotters and scribes and
Pharisees, all of whom were jealous and covetous of the place of the
righteous on the hill. And these sinful all decreed that the righteous
on the hill should be corrupt.
2. And upon the hill the
evil came, an donkeys and on other low forms, and did consume their
liquor in the parking lot and did leave their marks of that great sin
there about.
3. But Good Bowser did
show sympathy and compassion and charity and forgiveness upon the
sinners and did smite nor rebuke them not, but instead forgave them,
saying:
4. Ye sinners from the
valley, I bid ye go and consume sinful liquids elsewhere and cast away
evil thoughts from your minds. For the hill is the place of the
righteous, and the righteous people wish not to become corrupt.
5. But still the sinful
and corrupt crept up the black highway and up to the top of the hill,
not exceeding 25 miles per hour. And still the sinful liquids were
consumed in great quantities, and great quantities of the sinful liquid
containers were strewn about. And still Good Bowser was with charity
and bade his people not rise up and punish the doers of such evil acts.
6. But the plotters and
sinners had more evil thoughts, for they had not heeded the word of Good
Bowser, and had not put the evil thoughts out of their minds. And so,
in the dead of night, their evil art work was done, and they painted
sinful words upon the meeting place of the people, and evil laughter
rang out about the land of the righteous.
7. And when the righteous
people awoke, they were sore angered and trembled in their anger. And
there was great talk of war and siege and all manner of evil things
against the sinners in the valley and in Pokyhigh. But again the word
of Good Bowser prevailed, saying:
8. Ye good people of the
Highland, ye are sore angered, and ye do know that this is not right.
But we must show charity and kindness for the sinners such as these, for
surely they shall find their reward.
9. And the righteous did
not journey into the land of Pokyhigh, and did not soil their feet.
10. And all was peaceful
on the hill of the righteous for a time. And the sinners of the valley
did no more come up the black highway and the path of the hill at less
than 25 miles per hour.
CHAPTER III
1. But soon the great
lesson was forgotten, and the evil did no more pay heed to what was
written in the warning of evil actions, and again plotted against the
good people of Highland.
2. And a mighty
tournament of the roundball was soon held to settle the dispute.
3. Yea, the righteous did
descend upon the Gymnasium of Idaho State University in great numbers,
so as not to soil their feet in the valley of the evil, and did defeat
the scribblers of the evil.
4. An there was much
rejoicing among the righteous, and all manner of curses were uttered
from the lips of the evil. And lo, from their eyes the tears did flow.
Especially from the Drill Team of Pokyhigh.
5. And the good and
righteous people did return to the goodness of the hill and did
celebrate, never again to be overshadowed by the vulgar brags of the
evil valley dwellers.
6. And so came the
proclamation that the Wicked King Teuscher, realizing his sins and
shortcomings, had repented and would emerge from the valley and become a
worshipper of the Ram. He also is eternally grateful to the charity and
kindness of the Good Bowser, at whom he had thrown many vile phrases.
7. And soon after, the
good people of Bowser did gather into the great room of lunches and
assemblies and dances and were entertained by the blessed second
generation.
8. But then a time did
come when the blessed second generation, as did the first, did pass away
altogether and in a great body, aided by the Thunderous Hund of the room
of many dry humors. And so great was the passing that Good Bowser did
proclaim it to be graduation.
9. And great sorrow did
prevail in the land, and the Juniors and other generations did observe
the passing of the blessed second generation.
10. And so, the blessed
second generation did leave and they passed the Great Bok of Highland
into the hands of the less blessed third generation.
CHAPTER IV
1. And it came to pass
that the blessed second generation did go forth into ignominy and the
most blessed third generation did assume its rightful place, ruling over
the juniors and other low forms in the hallowed halls.
2. And behold; It fell to
the lot of the most blessed third generation to write the most glorious
chapter of the Great Book of Highland.
3. And it came to pass
during the reign of the most blessed that there arose from their midst a
great army of righteous warriors, led by mighty Koetter of the smiling
countenance.
4. And a great contest
did come to be, and it was proclaimed by Bowser the Good to be the
Homecoming.
5. And the great army
went forth clothed in shining armor to give battle to the worshippers of
the Bruin.
6. And the great
righteous host of warriors did give battle to the wicked bear
worshippers and did vex them sorely and did vanquish them.
7. And the evil hordes
dwelling in the valley of pestilence and iniquity and led by their king,
a dwarf know as Hammond the Base, did covet the glory of the righteous
and did challenge them to a contest.
8. And the righteous did
descend upon the “Bowl of the Great Potato, there to give battle to the
heathens.
9. and it came to pass
that the righteous army did smite the heathen host right terribly in
their great wrath and did inflict upon them a great defeat and drove
them from the Bowl of the Great Potato.
10. And the heathen host
did slink back to the valley of sin and iniquity, plotting to tempt the
goodness of the most blessed.
11. And the foul host of
Pokyhigh, desiring to tempt the righteous from their holiness did
challenge them to a contest of the round ball.
12. And again, Yes
verily, the wicked host was vanquished, as had been prophesied by the
all wise prophet Youngren.
13. But forsooth, a third
time did the sons of sin seek to tempt the holiest into mortal combat.
And another contest of the round ball was decreed, and it was called
District Tournament.
14. And the righteous
fought valiantly and did slay many heathens, but the dwellers filthy
valley did cause a pestilence to descend upon the referee and clouded
his eyes and did also cloud the eyes of the scorekeeper and did smite
his brain with wickedness. And the hosts of Hammond the Base did
prevail, but only by one point.
15. But the righteous had
risen above these things and shewed abundant kindness to the heathen,
yea, even for a minor defeat, and they did rejoice in their own
goodness.
16. But then, as had been
decreed by the prophet Rulon, Bowser the Good did call the blessed third
generation together and he did speak to them saying:
Yea verily, since you have
been in such good taste, go forth and spread righteousness to the
heathen.
17. And a great
convocation was called to witness the passing of the blessed, and it was
called Commencement.
18. And there were many
cries of anguish from the Juniors, and gnashing of teeth, and rending of
hair, and yea even those who, in a great gathering of their number,
which is called a class party, had cast their manna about upon the
walls, and upon the curtains, and even upon themselves, yea even these
low forms did weep at the great sorrow of the occasion.
19. And the most blessed
did in turn pass, as had the blessed first and the blessed second
generations, and did give the sacred duties and obligations into the
hands of the less blessed fourth generation.
CHAPTER V
1. And the blessed 6th
generation did migrate into the hallowed halls of Highland High.
2. And it was that Bowser
the Good did speak to the upper classmen, you and to all forms of lower
classmen and his word was good.
3. Behold Bowser the Good
did speak to his followers saying: “Do not be idle people, do not be
rude, do not find fault with each other, do not be ignorant” - - In
other words do not become like the inhabitants of the valley.
4. And so did the months
progress and it was then that the Good Bowser did issue a proclamation.
This proclamation came to be known as Homecoming.
5. So the Mighty Rams did
go forth into battle against the Bulldogs, but behold, even though the
Rams with Mighty Aries as their leader went forward into battle, the
heavens were on their side.
6. And it was that the
Rams did receive a victory and there was much rejoicing on the hill
among the righteous.
7. And rejoicing soon
began again in the Land of Bowser the Good. And many glorious days
rose up in the eyes of the righteous. And the season passes and proved
victorious to the Ram Army.
8. So did the days merge
onward and another season did come about in the land of Highland. This
was the season of the round ball.
9. Yea the evil
inhabitants of Pokyhigh did challenge the righteous. And the Good
Bowser spoke saying: “Pokyhigh tat is found unworthy shall not have
place among you higher beings; for ye shall not suffer that mine house
be polluted by them.”
10. There was at this
time a wise man roaming about the country. Even so that Bowser the Good
did take him up and tell him that he should reign in his mighty house.
11. Great was his wisdom,
marvelous his work, even so that he did pour forth great sunshine upon
the righteous.
12. Yea, he did become
great and was known by his works as Sunshine.
13. And Lo, he did lead
the Ram Army into many glorious victories.
14. Then the biggest
battle of all was announced. And Pokyhigh plagued and cursed Highland
and cast a wicked spell upon them: this spell being so wicked that it
did cause the Ram Army defeat.
15. But the Mighty
Highland does not give up to the sin of the valley, and so it shall come
to pass that there will be next season to smite all opposing armies and
all manner of wickedness.
16. Behold the months did
go onward and very soon the Good Bowser did issue about another
proclamation and this proclamation became known as 1969 Commencement.
17. And Bowser the Good
did say unto his followers: “Behold I send you out to prove the world
and the laborer is worthy of your hire.”
18. It was then that the
Good Bowser did regretfully give up the Mighty 1969 Class and sadly did
turn them into the world. And there was much sorrow from all the lower
forms of classmen, yea even that there was much sadness in the land of
the good.
19. But mostly did sorrow
come over Bowser the Good because he knew such a glorious class would
never again merge into the halls of Highland.
20. So it was, that the
mightiest class of all will go into the world ending another chapter of
the Great Book of Highland.
21. Yea, now the
1968-1969 most glorious chapter of the Great Book of Highland is
completed as of this minute and will be handed ever to the less blessed
lower generation.
CHAPTER VII
1. And the blessed 7th
generation did emerge to enter their history in the Great Book of
Highland.
2. And a great leader did
rise up from the midst of the righteous and he did call unto the
righteous to heed the words of Bowser the Good.
3. Behold, Bowser the
Good did call unto the righteous to come to the great meeting place and
he sayeth unto them, “Ye followers of the Ram, I would admonish you to
uphold the traditions and heritage which has been passed on to you by
the preceding generations who migrated through these hallowed halls.”
4. And there was much
rejoicing on the hill and the righteous did promise to rebuke all sin
and filth which was in the valley, and there was peace in the land of
Bowser the Good.
5. Now the time did draw
near that a great confrontation should take place between the wicked
followers of the Lion and the goodly Army and Bowser the Good decreed
that it should be called homecoming.
6. but lo, the righteous
did forget the teachings of Koetter the Clever and their hearts did
swell with pride and their eyes were blinded by their sins and a great
pestilence did fall upon them and they were smitten in the fight.
7. And Koetter the Clever
did cry unto his followers, “Repent that the heavens might be opened and
pour down blessings upon you.”
8. And again did the
righteous prepare for battle and they did repent and there was much
rejoicing - - even so that the people were caught up and they did
venture into the valley bearing gifts for the savage people of Pokyhigh,
one of which was a “House of Relief” for the wicked.
9. And the righteous did
go forth to battle in the of the Great Potato to fight the sinful
followers of Hammond the Hateful, but again a plague did fall upon the
righteous and they did fall to the wicked Pokyhigh.
10. Now, Bowser the Good
did again call unto his followers saying, “A terrible plague has been
upon us because of our lack of spirit so let us repent and worship the
God of Sunshine that we might be redeemed from our iniquities.
11. And the righteous did
repent and the God of Sunshine did smile upon his followers and he did
pour out many victories upon the righteous.
12. But the wicked
Pokyhigh did not follow the teachings of the God of Sunshine and they
did challenge the righteous to a game of roundball.
13. And the God of
Sunshine rebuked the wicked inhabitants of the valley because of their
evil curses and sinful liquids and he did cause that the followers of
Emmerson the Evil should be blinded and the righteous did prevail.
14. And it came to pass
that the righteous did defeat the heathen again and they were called by
their God to further conquer all who opposed them and thus the righteous
did travel to the great home of Don the Dumb.
15. And behold, the
righteous did go forth into battle and they did smite the Boat of Minico
and the mighty Ram did reign supreme over the land which was called
Idaho, and there was much rejoicing in the homeland of the righteous.
16. And lo, a decree did
go out unto all the inhabitants of the valley and the corrupt did learn
that the righteous upon the hill were victorious and they did humble
themselves unto the righteous and they did plead for forgiveness and the
righteous said:
17. “Ye sinners of the
valley, we accept your humble apologies and we implore that you worship
the Ram and forget your old ways, that ye might save yourselves from the
filth of the valley.”
18. And the sinners did
repent for a time and there was peace in all the land.
19. And the time did draw
near for the blessed 7th generation to prepare the less
blessed 8th generation to receive the Great Book of Highland,
so a great meeting was called and it was known as the “Senior Sneak.”
20. But lo, the sinners
in the valley did come to disrupt this important meeting with much
sinful liquids and Bowser the Wise did put a stop to the meeting, and
thus the less blessed 8th generation must enter unprepared
into the role of Seniors.
21. Now a great time of
sorrow is about to descend upon the less blessed lower generations as
the most blessed 7th generation prepares to go unto the world
to preach many great and important things unto the people.
22. And a great challenge
is left to the less blessed 8th generation to further the
righteous work which has been started by the most blessed 7th
generation that the sinners in the valley might recognize the great
accomplishments of the people in the land of Bowser the Good and fall
down and worship the children of the Ram.
23. And now the time has
come for the most blessed 7th generation to depart and they
do leave these words of wisdom to the less blessed:
“Ye have
climbed the hill; Now ye must conquer the valley.”
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